2. Standing for the Purity of Love
Points to Ponder:
Last week we talked about integrity. One of the core tenants of the Unification faith is the belief in purity of love. This is not just a physical abstinence before marriage or fidelity in marriage, but also a purity of heart and mind.
How is the Unificationist view of sexual integrity unique? Sexual integrity is inseparable from the Blessing. If it includes the Blessing, it includes the very motivation with which we love each other as men and women. This is the motivation to be deeply rooted in the heart of God having received His permission and blessing.
Why does God ask us to wait for permission and blessing? He’s asking us to trust in his vision for the love He intended us to experience between man and woman; something far greater than any of us can even imagine. This is a love where God is welcomed into the heart and center of a relationship, where His presence deeply enhances the quality of love.
When we talk about purity, we’re not just saying, “be abstinent before marriage” and “don’t fall.” Although this has often been a clear “line” in our movement growing up, we want to shift the conversation to go beyond seeing this as a rule or commandment but to connect to God’s heart and hope for my future. This is a much more empowering and positive way of approaching this time of cultivating and growing our hearts.
As we connect to God’s desire, strengthening our original mind, we’ll find ourselves strongly compelled to live a life of sexual purity. We wouldn’t have any desire for attractive fakes and cheap substitutes such as casual sex, porn, masturbation, experimenting with uncommitted relationships, etc.
In our movement, we’re seeking to improve the way we educate our young people about sexual integrity starting from childhood. Parents and educators can learn to converse and discussion more frankly about God-centered sexual love which includes purity and a great expectation for the most beautiful marriage you can imagine. God’s ideal is a love with no shadows, an innocence and purity that comes from living in a high noon relationship with God where He’s welcomed into the center of your love.
The culture around us is filled with “illicit” sexual love. It’s a love that is hidden from God, acts against one’s conscience, and is focused on self-gratification. However, If we keep our ideal in mind we can more clearly evaluate the culture that is surrounding us and recognize that what we often see in movies, hear in music, etc. is a cheap imitation of true love.
It may appear tempting and attractive, but if you look closely, in the end, these types of situations don’t bring people to a place of eternal happiness; instead they advocate sliding into relationships that often end up hurtful and heart breaking. You may have heard such stories of disappointment and pain from friends or even experienced it yourself. Love was never meant to result in this kind of pain; God never intended for this type of love to leave us questioning our value, feeling broken, or used.
When True Father talked about “high noon,” he was imagining that our movement could bring a new standard of sexual purity because he knew that it is a key element in creating strong families and a culture of heart. In such a culture, things like fidelity, trust, commitment, and living for the sake of others become the norm. Imagine living in such a culture of security, confidence, and conviction in your loving relationships without the drama and distractions. This leads to a deeply fulfilling life and creates an environment where each of our goals, dreams, and potential as individuals, couples, and families can be realized.
What does it mean to take a stand for the purity of love?
As we seek to live by these values ourselves, we become much more clear around how we want to live our lives and direct our thoughts and actions. The natural outcome is a confidence and conviction to share these values with those around you that you love and care about. You will find, or might have already experienced, how this vision for purity resonates deeply with the hearts of many young people (Unificationist and non-Unificationist alike) and they feel hope when presented with a vision of love that is so different from the one portrayed by society. We can trust that God, as our Parent, longs for each of us to experience the depth and joy of the genuine love He intended for each of His children.
Discussion questions for before/after the reading:
- Have you experienced sharing your vision of love with friends? How did they respond?
- What gives you courage and confidence to live a life of sexual integrity and purity?
“Purity, pure lineage and pure love are followed by a pure heart. Without a pure heart, there can’t be a pure lineage. Heaven’s lineage has been passed down to us on the foundation of tens of thousands of years of pure hearts. The way to pass on the lineage to our descendants for thousands and even tens of thousands of years should be through fidelity to one’s one and only spouse.” (476-263, 2004.11.21)
“The first stage is to maintain absolute sexual purity prior to getting married. After we are born, we go through a process of growth. We pass through infancy and childhood in a safe and secure environment embraced in our parents’ love and protection. We then enter adolescence, a dynamic period in which we form more complex relationships with those around us and with all things of creation. Thus we start on the path to perfection, internally through the maturing of our character, and externally by reaching adulthood. Yet we absolutely must fulfill one requirement, which is to maintain our purity, adhering to the model of absolute sex. God gave us this responsibility as the means to fulfill the ideal of creation. This heavenly path is the way to perfect conjugal love.”
“Man came to exist because of love. A man’s love does not come from the man himself. It comes from a woman. Likewise, a woman’s love comes from a man. From the standpoint of love, a man is not born for himself. He will never be able to find the path of true love if he is self-serving. He will not be able to advance and will end up fixed to one spot. Since God invested everything for the creation of the universe, a man should also follow the same path. This means a man is born to live for someone else. He is born for true love, but if he insists that he is born for himself, he will not find true love. Thus we can conclude that a man is born for a woman. And based on true love, a woman is born for a man.” (177-218, 1988.05.20) – TF, CSG
“The way of love does not go here and there. There is only one way. Is the way of love two or one? It is one. If you go that one way, you can go everywhere. The way of love is the way of purity, the way of tranquility and the way of caution, like a priest making a sacrificial offering.” (233-146, 1992.08.01)
“You are not to live a life with shadows. Therefore, I proclaimed the high noon settlement. It is a marvelous concept. For there to be no shadows, mind and body must be united and the family must be united as a four-position foundation. If the father did something wrong, he would create a father’s shadow. If the mother did something wrong, she would make a mother’s shadow. If there were four members in the family and the four could not settle down, then the light would be blocked. No one likes the place of shadows. That is why we must achieve the high noon settlement. There shouldn’t be any shadows, even after we go to the next world. God travels through the vertical line of eight stages from the shadow-free individual to the shadow-free family, tribe, people, nation, world, cosmos and God. Can there be any shadow cast on God’s love? It is purity itself. That is why everyone wants that purity, even in his or her flesh and blood. No one likes shadows. The shadow is Satan. This is why whenever we do wrong, we tend to cover it up. That is the enemy. That is the barrier. You must break down that barrier if you are to have the high noon settlement. I am not saying this just symbolically. It must be done.” – TF, CSG
“Your youth is a precious time in your life when you can take the grief of Adam and Eve, who lost their purity in their adolescence, and indemnify it. So you should protect and preserve your purity during your youth. You need to have the resolve that you will preserve your purity as something clean and precious. You should say, “Even if I may have to live alone for all time, I will absolutely never allow my love to be violated.” Unless we love our people and our nation, we cannot meet the person whom we can
love. Unless we love the world, we cannot have a person to love. This thought is the tradition of the Unification Church. Therefore you can love your wife and love your husband after you have loved God, loved the world and loved your people. This is a matter of principle.” (37-108, 1970.12.22)
We invite you to take some time this week to reflect on:
- What is your own motivation and reason for standing for the purity of love?
- What qualities/characteristics are you looking for in the opposite sex as your future spouse? As the future parent to your children?
- How are you cultivating these qualities/characteristics in your own life so that you can bring them into your relationship?